Well, it's getting a bit late and I'm headed to bed now I think...but I just need to type I think, I won't type all that I feel, but the thoughts and purging that come with writing (even deleting it) helps a restless mind.

I think the human mind has great abilities, some much greater than others. Albert Einstein for example connected the dots on time and space, realizing that time is not a constant but rather a variable. Motzart created symphonies, pieces of art that people today adimre, respect, and strive to equal. The greatness of the mind though, isn't in these things, the conquest of nature and the psyche, it's in the area of feeling...the part of a man that religious people disconnect from the mind, and label the soul.

Memories arise from the same sector, the area of feeling. I think in this region of thought, the mind and soul are, indeed, almost separate. Memories are magical, just take time to think about it sometime. You're sitting around with friends sharing stories, and all that you can think of are the good times, the "remember whens," as the details of horror fade into the backdrop, providing a new light. On the other hand, with those who you don't care for, the bad details always seep through and judgements of individuals are hard to change. Why is this? I think it's the mind's, or if you wish to call it a soul; the soul's, way of keeping our logic in check - sometimes throwing it out the window, and guiding us to what is truly correct.

Once I knew a girl, who, for some reason I chased...I chased her for years, hoping one day to be "her's," to embrace her beauty. I was lucky, I got the chance, and I made memories, many memories. The thing is, I made a lot of bad memories towards the end, as I made mistakes and was too blind to see them. But now, thinking about the past, reminissing, all that arise are the good memories, the ones that left an imprint on my soul, the blue ducks, and peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches with potato chips on them. To me that means something, it means that my soul, guided by whatever power there is, feels there was nothing bad to come out of it, that my mind was correct, and that my chase, the hunt, was well worth it..."the juice was worth the squeeze."

There is one problem with memories though, envy. It is a wierd thought, to be envious of yourself, but I find it to occur. It is very easy to be jealous of "you" in your memories, to want to transport back to a place and time. One wierd thing that happens is Deja Vu, when you begin to make more memories, but feel you've already been there, you feel comfortable. New events that feel like they've already happened, and that start a fire (the warm kind that feels good after you've gone sleding :)) in your heart, are great, they are an indicator that your direction is right, that your logic doesn't matter because your soul has the knowledge, and it knows how to make you smile, how to make you happy, and how to make life worth while.

I remember the good times, I forget the bad, and I love you.

Well, there flow a few of the thoughts that go through my head. There are many more as I sit here ready to sleep, but why share on the internet, it's a bit creepy actually. Oh well, there's only 2 or 3 people that will ever see these words, and they already hold the keys to my mind. In reality, this is a way for me to sleep, to share things and become confident that I am who I am, and thoughts are real...they have materialized on this page